paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Drunk is not a location!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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