I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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