True but thats because hes a fetus.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
