she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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