No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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