I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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