the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
