you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
