Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
