I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
