i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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