my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
