How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
