its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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