im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize