Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
