fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
