There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
