i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
