my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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