Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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