So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
