I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
