did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
