in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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