you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
