Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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