R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
