so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
