i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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