So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
