You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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