There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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