I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
