Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Drake has all the answers
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
