they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
