If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
