I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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