oh fat girl friday strikes again...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
