There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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