It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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