I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
whose parrot is this?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
