We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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