her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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