I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
she looked like the before picture.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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