Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
