I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Randomize
