that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
