that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
That was before I lit my hair on fire
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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