i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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