Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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