Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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