she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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