At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
