wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
